Innocence and Angels

“Behind the Badge”                   Innocence and Angels

By Joseph Pangaro

On Friday I was in the Police Academy teaching a group of 60 cops how to plan and active shooter drill when word came that a horrible tragedy had erupted in an elementary school in Connecticut. The initial report was that one person had been killed, which was bad enough. A short time later the devastating news came that over two dozen people had been killed and the heart breaking reality that 20 of the victims were little children, Gods most precious Angels.

The room was filled with veteran law enforcers from all over the state. When the details were announced it was greeted by pained silence. The wave of horror ran through the room and was visible on the faces of everyone there.

Like most people these cops were parents, myself included. My first thought was to go to my kids school, pick them up and hold them as tightly as I could, it was the sense of helplessness that was disorienting.

These incidents of school shootings have become a part of the life experience in our country. Since the Columbine High School Tragedy there have been over 40 cases of school shootings, this one in Connecticut is being tagged as the “Second” worst in history, the first being the Texas Tech massacre in 2007. As the specifics of the Connecticut murders came in the first thing that strikes you directly in your heart is the understanding that the victims were not simply young adult students, but little children, Kindergarten babies. That’s when the truth settles in your soul. This is the worst incident, atrocity, and horror we have had to experience. The fact that these kids are the most innocent among us is more than most people can fathom.

I have seen many terrible things in my career, as most police officers do. I have written extensively about the effect the repeated exposure to these types of horrendous crimes can have on our police personnel and the staggering statistic of police officer suicide paints that picture quite clearly.  I have tried to teach the new people coming on the job that to survive this wave of carnage they must put their jobs and lives into perspective. We cannot save the world. If our careers have any benefit to society it is that over the course of a life time we can help and save individual people. If we understand that we can defend ourselves from the pain we see as we go about our work. For me it has been successful. I hope it helps my brothers and sisters who strive to protect and serve our communities into the future.

The healing from this incident in Connecticut will take weeks for some, months and years for others and some will never recover. The parents, families, friends, teachers and residents of New Town will need our prayers. They will need the help of family and friends to embrace them in their sorrow and we will all need time to reflect on this loss.

A psychologist was on TV saying that he believes our entire nation will suffer some effects of PTSD, (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). I believe he is right. Having watched these types of painful scenes played out in the past tells me we will all be effected to one degree or another, we are after all only human.  Seeing people in pain causes reactions in us, seeing children victimized shakes us to our core.

In the coming weeks our kids, even the younger ones, will know at least some of the things that happened. They may have trouble sleeping, eating or functioning. Adults too will develop these problems as the enormity of the tragedy sinks in and the day after day coverage of the funerals becomes part of our daily news and conversations. Be aware of these possibilities, reach out to anyone who is having trouble and try to get help for them.

Surviving a terrible incident begins with understanding it, putting it in a box and taking control of it. These types of crimes, these senseless, random, horrors don’t offer much possibility for understanding or control.  A person capable of killing children so dispassionately might never be understood and so we will feel helpless. If you need help, talk to someone.

I will pray. I will pray for the families who lost their babies and I will pray for the officers that have to investigate that crime scene and stand as advocates for the fallen. Their lives will be changed forever by this crime and they will never be the same. I will do my duty and continue to prepare to be ready the next time evil shows its face, as will our police officers all across the country.

We will survive, in time we will heal. Today we can remember the innocents, pull our own children close, hug them tightly and appreciate the glorious gift that are those we love in hope that a loving God walks with his newest Angels and comforts us all.

Let me know what you think.     Email me at;    Jpangaro194@yahoo.com          

          

Surviving the Storm- Sandy

The last seven days have been one of the most difficult weeks many of us have ever faced; some have not survived. As the case with any major incident, once the skies clear a bit we must assess, heal and learn because there will be a next time. There always is.

Hurricane Sandy pounded the northeast and the New Jersey Shore area in particular. I saw heroism, fear, good neighbors, tragedy and hope in this mess.

Friends and co-workers lost their homes. People in our community died, children were lost, this is the painful truth and the legacy of this storm. There is another side as well. And it is in the midst of this swirling chaos that it revealed itself.

Neighbors welcoming neighbors and friends into their homes in the middle of the night. Police officers, fire fighters and other emergency workers moving with speed and dedication to save lives and property. Members of the community saying thank you, people showing restraint even when their nerves were worn thin. This is the hope that was revealed. We pulled together.

I was working the past six days. There were countless numbers of residents of my community that brought food, drink and thanks to my officers as they toiled around the clock protecting the community. We were all in the same position, trying to survive. Many of the officers had families at home alone during the storm and in the days afterward. They found it easier to leave them and do their duty because they had friends and family to count on and people who understood their struggles.

We have made it to Storm day plus 7. The true reality of the loss is really just beginning to become apparent. We must maintain the cohesiveness and good will we displayed during the initial crisis. Things will get better.

In the coming days we will bury our dead, clear the debris of our losses and begin again to live. There is little consolation to those who lost someone, so we, the survivors must pray for them and lend our hands to support them. It is only through this process that we can truly help each other rebuild. Then we must plan for the next event. It looms just down the road. We may not be able to see it clearly but its there. How we prepare and learn from this incident, the good and the bad, will help us tomorrow.

God bless us all and watch over us. 

 

Drug Court

“Drug Court”                                                             

by Joseph Pangaro

  

There was a time when going to court meant you might have to face the judge, the officer that wrote you a ticket or arrested you, or maybe the neighbor that signed a complaint against you for your barking dog.

If you were arrested for possession of a small amount of drugs you could expect a fine and an admonishment, the first time. Well, maybe the second and third time too. After that you would most certainly be sentenced to the county jail for a very uncomfortable period of time. Most of the repeat offenders were people who were hopelessly addicted to illegal drugs. Their lives, completely ruled by the relentless, never ending need for more and more of the illicit substance, spin out of control. These people are easy to ignore, easy to write off. We, the non addicted members of our world offer them some good, simple advice; “Stop taking drugs and get a job”. The reality of drug abuse is a little more complicated than that. As anyone who has real experience with drug addicts and drug addiction can tell you; the doctors who treat their afflictions, the friends who lock their doors so they don’t get robbed blind, the parents who cry themselves to sleep wondering if their child will make it home that night, and the police who have to deal with them at their worst. Drugs control and destroy many innocent lives. That’s the truth of it.

These drug addicts, the people we write off, are members of our community, they deserve our help. 

A few years back the courts realized that most drug offenders were not career criminals out to plunder our society for their own gain. They are, for the most part regular people who made some really bad decisions and got involved with things they never should have.  The answer to this problem, serving societies needs by adjudicating the drug offenders, and at the same time trying to help these people trapped by substance abuse, is the DRUG COURT.

This is a unique system that covers both of the bases. The drug abusers have to face the wrath of the court AND get help for themselves. The program is not automatic, but it is voluntary. People who enter into the system have to report to a Judge and probation officer on a regular basis. They also have to face their peers in the drug court system. It is set up like a 12 step program, only this one has teeth and large metal doors that slam shut on you if you don’t follow through. Participants meet to give the group updates on their progress of finding jobs, staying sober and remaking their broken lives. I was initially skeptical of this program. I believed it was another “Feel Good” get over program. We would all feel good, because we were “helping” and the abuser was “getting over” on the system by pretending to get better.

I sat in on a session of drug court recently, and I have to admit I see it differently now.  The judge, a veteran of the Criminal Justice System, was fair, concerned and tough as nails when he had to be. The participants took turns telling the judge, the panel and their peers, what had been going on in their lives. Some of the stories were very upbeat. Some were heart wrenching. Others were B.S. The judge, panel and peers clapped and encouraged the people who were obviously trying to reclaim their lives. As for the peers who were trying to get over….. they were held to account, then provided encouragement. After it was all said and done I was impressed with their efforts. I was moved by their struggles and I was renewed by the chance that it might work, at least for some of them.  Let me know what you think.                              

Faces From the past

         “Faces from the past”

By Joseph Pangaro

There is a term used in law enforcement, “career enders”.  What it refers to are cases you worked where the defendant was sentenced to enough jail time that your career would be over and you would be retired before they got out. I have worked many of these types of cases. Looking back over these investigations I can say I was proud of the work me and my team did on them. In some of them I was the lead investigator, in others I was only a bit player, but all in all they are a part of my history and career.

When Cops get together the conversation will eventually turn to police work. They talk about the good arrests they made, the horrible things they saw; they laugh at the sometimes hysterically ridiculous situations they have seen people in, and they talk about the bigger cases they have worked. As these stories are told you can see the faces of the other cops smiling, frowning or otherwise reflecting the mood of the story and living vicariously through the other officer’s tale. No matter how many times you are involved in a serious fight or foot chase, and regardless of the reality that almost everyone’s stories are virtually identical, there is still interest in the specifics of the job. As I was thinking about this story sharing activity that most cops engage in, I was reminded of several pretty big career enders I worked over the last 25 years. The more I thought about those cases, the more the specifics came to the surface leading ultimately to the bad guys who ended up in prison. It was at this point that I began to think about the human side of this drama, the real life people on the other end of the “Career ender” stories.

The New Jersey Department of Corrections has a public web site that anyone can view. Part of that web site is an offender search. You can look up people in the system by name. So last week I had a need to check something on that site.

Before I left it I checked on a couple of people I knew were in the system, some career enders. As I searched for them I was shocked by a reality that presented itself to me.

I popped in a name of young man that had been sentenced to life without parole for his criminal actions. When I last saw him at trial in 1998, he was a healthy 26 year old man.  Intelligent and quick witted.  When he was arrested I interviewed several times. His crimes were bad, no doubt it and he was in the position he was in due to his actions and decisions, but he was congenial enough. Part of the game for both sides involved in a criminal investigation is to win over the other person, to work the situation to your best advantage. For the police that is to get a truthful and complete confession. For the defendant that is to gain the sympathy of the officers and mitigate their problems as much as possible. That being said, he was not the monster in the closet you would imagine. He confessed, went to trial, was found guilty and was sentenced to life without parole. That was the last I thought about him until last week.

As the computer screen flickered and the different web pages appeared, suddenly there he was. In my mind I pictured the 26 year old man from the interviews. What I saw on the screen was completely different.

He would now be 38 years old. The rough edges of the street had been worn away from him. The look of youth was gone. What I saw now was a man who was struggling, a person adrift on the sea of life going no where. As I looked at this picture, I could feel the smile on my face fade away. His eyes were dull, his body language, even in the photo, revealed he was spiritually beaten up. I could sense the loneliness of his existence and I felt pity for him.

As I hit the exit key and left the web page and that image behind I thought, what a great tragedy it is for those people who commit such acts that require the rest of us lock them away. What a loss for their families and what a desperate situation it must for them.

This experience, seeing this face from the past, and the realities of his day to day life caught me off guard. I can’t say it caused me some type of soul searching grief, it did not. I did what was right, I did what was necessary to protect many other innocent people by taking this guy off the street. His actions and our system of justice did the rest and I sleep like a baby at night. Seeing that picture, that moment frozen in time did give me pause though. Seeing any person, regardless of how deserving, having to live such a life is a terribly sad situation.

As my introspection session ended I put the experience in its proper place. I said a prayer for him, his victims and all the cops out in the street doing the hard work that needs to be done.

Let me know what you think      

jpangaro194@yahoo.com

New members

First of all I would like to thank all of you who have joined and visited this site. The world of law enforcement is a constantly changing and this blog is dedicated to keeping pace with that change.
In the next ferw days I will upload  few new columns and articles I have been working on.

I will have piece on Active Shooters adn how the public can and should react if you ever find yourself in this horrible situation.

I will up date some material I had covered in the past and I have a few new thoughts.

I would also like to offer any of you readers out ther that like Action, and or police type novels to drop me an email and I can send you some galleys of a few fiction pieces I am working on.

ONce again than

Capt Gary D'Esposito Tribute article

“Behind the Badge”         “The soul of a man”

By Joseph Pangaro

What is the value of a human life? What value does a man brings to the world? What lives does he touch? What is the soul of a man?

I know a man named Gary. He was my friend, he was a mentor, he was a very good cop and he was a great man.

Gary had gentle soul and a sharp mind. Quick to laugh and share a smile or lend a hand to anyone in need, he was a reserved man in public and always a professional. I saw him offer advice to people that most would have shunned. I saw him offer kindness to many who needed it, and he was the first to say “Everyone has dignity and deserves respect”.

He also told me that a good cop could always spot a bad guy, even if the bad guy was wearing a three piece suit. He showed me and many other officers what the word courage really meant. Never afraid to enter the fray, or jump into the battle to protect the innocent. He said courage is not the absence of fear it is being afraid and doing a thing anyway. He lived that persona, an iron back bone in the worst of times, and a calming word when the storm had passed. All who knew him are better off for having had the privilege.

He leaves behind a legacy of doing the right thing, perseverance, honor and fidelity. He protected his community with a sense of pride and was an example to all. The people of Ocean Township have lost giant.

It is impossible to know what lives in a mans heart, we can only guess by watching his actions on the stage of life. As Gary rose through the ranks he accepted the responsibility that came with each new position and worked diligently to make the police department better, even though each promotion took him further away from the work he loved the most, policing in the street.

If he was unhappy about something you did he never lost his temper. He used each instance to help you understand what was wrong with whatever you did. He used these times as teaching moments to make you better. You never walked away from a conversation with Capt Gary feeling as though he thought less of you, or that he harbored anger towards you. This was the good of the man. He saw the good in people and reflected that back to them no matter the situation.

People who knew Gary would say he was quiet on the outside, which was often true. A reserved man who did not go for big shows of emotion or dramatic expression of his opinion. He made his point with reason and logic.

There was another side to him as well, and for those of us who had the opportunity to see that side we will always remember his wide grin and hearty laugh. At times like a school boy he would step away from his normal steady appearance and beam, the laughs revealing a fun loving, easy going part of him that made you feel good.

These simple memories and thousands of others from countless people who knew Gary will be retold and relived many times over the next few weeks. In that way he will bring a lightness and comfort to all of us as we say good bye to this gentle man.  There are times in life when you know you have met a unique person, a person of value. Gary was that kind of man, a genuinely decent person, and that was his soul. I am blessed, as are all the people who were lucky enough to call Gary a friend.  

God speed Gary, we will all miss you.   

 

Absence Makes the heart grow fonder.

I want to thank all of you who have been following this blog.  I have been extremely busy this past summer, (NO excuses here), and I have been away from the keyboard. I'll be back more regulalry as we move through the fall. 

I am considering running "A Day of Thankyou" next Spring for all our soldiers who have fought so bravely to protect our way of life.

At this point in time  365 of our heros take thier own lives every year, that is unacceptable. They sacrifice for us and find themselves in a place so dark that thier only recourse is death.  I say no.

I want to put together a committee of people who want to give of thier time adn effort to  make this project work.   If you want to help let me know, send me an email  jpanngaro194@Yahoo.com

Thanks again for your support.  JP