Leading the Modern Police Force

“Leading the Modern Police Force”

  by Lt. Joseph Pangaro                                                           1711 words

  What does it mean to lead a police force? That question seems like a simple one. In the world of law enforcement we have some rock solid principles and some bedrock purposes. We are tasked by our various communities with “Protecting and serving”, if we combine those principles and purposes with the goal of protecting our residents and serving those who need our help, the outcome should be easy to predict. Our officers would go out into the streets and do what is necessary to get the job done.  If it were only that easy.

The modern police force is very different from the police forces of days gone by. That is not to say that our current mission is vastly different from the police mission of the past. People are people and the needs of society change slowly, over very long periods of time. The basic functions of police work are static. There will always be predators that will look for any opportunity to take advantage of innocence. Human nature being what it is we know that there will always be a percentage of our population that will rob and rape if they can. Unethical people will lie and cheat the elderly out of their retirement funds if the opportunity presents itself. Children will continue to be a target for the perverted and twisted minds of the pedophile. Our homes and property will always be fair game for the burglar and other various types of thieves. The scourge of drug abuse will drive otherwise normal people to acts of criminality. That being said I could fill many pages with the types of crimes that have always been with us and will always be with us. That is the human condition, and the world in which we, as law enforcement professionals, operate.

My focus here; understanding the changing requirements and responsibilities associated with leading the men and women of the modern era of police work. An analysis will reveal that the truth of the matter is that the changes in the world of law enforcement are not changes in the work we do, but the changing people on the job that do the work.

P1

Police work is a people business. Most of us who have been on the job for any period of time, know that reality. Arrests, tickets, raids and investigations are all elements of the work, but the real work is human relationships. People to people, person to person.

As any officer serving anywhere in the United States, and at any rank, can tell you the people who are coming on the job today are different than in the past. That is not a bad thing, but it is something that must be understood and managed for the betterment of all involved.

Today’s recruits grew up in a world that viewed the idea of simply doing what you’re told without question, as not valid. Many were taught to question authority at every level. If someone tells you what to do, ask them why you should do it that way. If someone tells you why you should do it a certain way; ask them if there is a better way to do it. I call this group of young people the “Millenials”, taken from the on going generational categorization’s such as; the baby boomers, the Gen X’ers, Generation Y and so forth. I can’t take credit for it, but I like it and I use it.    

Many of the new officers are motivated by different things then those of us in previous generations. I loved overtime; it helped to keep me and my family above water as I moved through the various pay scales and ranks. I loved being at work, doing the work. Today money is not the greatest motivator. I see a trend with many new people in that they are more concerned with their time off, and what other lifestyle perks are available. They are hard workers, and they have tremendous skill sets to offer, but they see things differently. That must be taken into account. Demanding they act and appreciate what past generations saw as important is a futile exercise. They must be seen and valued for what they have to offer and their needs and concerns must be figured into the equations. That is our responsibility as leaders.                   

P2

With that understanding of the people will now lead we must look at our organizations and our selves much closer.

As a practical matter we are quasi military organizations with ranks, rules, regulations, policy and written directives. That is the functional part of our business. They set the internal boundaries in our departments and the basic parameters of how to deal with the public out in the street. Technology moves at lightning speed, doubling capacity every 18 months. We file papers and push out new policy and new directives in record time, all good stuff. Unfortunately what get’s lost in that shuffle is our people, our cops, especially the young people of the modern work force.  

How we deal with our people is lagging behind all the other types of change that have come down the pike. We are, in many instances, clinging to old ways and practices that do nothing to move us forward and help us to lead our people in the most appropriate way. It is time for those of us in leadership positions today to do a top down review of how we run our organizations, starting with our own actions, styles and practices. Just because “That’s the way we have always done it” doesn’t mean we have to continue with those models. We must ask ourselves; are we doing things the best way possible, regardless of our own personal preferences and desires. If we are not then we should change the way we do things.

This concept could easily be regarded as a back hand shot at the current leadership in any organization today. That is not the point, and it should not be looked at that way. It is a call to all members of our profession who are responsible for leading our people, to look beyond ourselves. To pick our heads up, look around and see what’s going on out in the world and see what we can do to better serve those we lead. If we can not look forward at what could be, compare it to the lessons of the past, then think of ways to do things better based on the combined experience of all involved, then we are never going to improve in any meaningful way. As leaders we must evolve.

My years of experience, both in law enforcement and more importantly in my life as a member of our society, have revealed what I believe are some important lessons in regard to leading effectively.

P3

I start with defining the basic premise of leadership. What are the goals and most importantly, the responsibilities of being a leader? Does being in charge make one a leader? The answer, I think, is, sometimes. Obviously if you are the chief executive of any organization by virtue of your position, you are a leader.

The better question is; does simply being “In charge” make you a good leader? The answer here is clearly, no. We can all think of people in leadership positions who are not very adept at being good leaders. They can give orders, make rules, issue edicts and puff themselves up and demand everyone fall in line, but they do nothing to better their people or their organization. This type of leader harkens to a different time. In police work most of us can all conjure stories of old time chiefs who ruled with an iron hand, or were the type of leader that was locked away in his office. You never saw the guy, but when you did he was an almost mythical figure. It was “My way or the highway”. This example may be a stretch, but not too much of a stretch. The dinosaurs like that are mostly gone from the scene at this point, but they were the model for many of us up to this point. I am suggesting that we learn from the past, take what was good from that style of leadership, and then move on. Its time for a paradigm shift in leadership practices.

So if simply being in charge does not make you a good leader, what does?  

I believe that being a good leader requires changing the way we view the art of leading. There will always be a time for the autocratic leader. On many occasions our business demands immediate, forceful and decisive action on the part of those in charge. We must be able to give direct orders and have them followed without hesitation. Lives sometimes depend on it. That being said I don’t believe that those are the best examples of where leadership takes place. It is more than that, more than just driving the tank into battle.  

P4

The next question to ask then is” what can aid the leaders of tomorrow to be the best they can be”. It is in this context that I suggest we can begin by adopting several concepts:

One; Being a good leader is a choice. Like anything else we want to do and do well, we must make choices. This is where separating ourselves from the seductive perks of leadership must take place. The term “because I said so”, has to be replaced with “What is best for my people, not necessarily good for me”. This is where the hard work takes place. Many people have worked an entire career to be in charge. When they get there they lose perspective on what their main goal and focus must be; their people, not their own career track. 

Two; Owning the principle of “Servant leadership”. The higher up the chain you go, the more you owe to those in positions below you. Doing what needs to be done to make their jobs easier is the key obligation of this principle. You must work tirelessly to assist them in anyway you can; guiding, counseling, positive critiques, listening not just hearing them, appreciating them and working for their career goals. Selflessness is incumbent to this type of thinking.

The choice here is to choose forgoing the belief that since you have obtained a leadership position, whatever you think has to be right and best and everyone should do what you want simply because you are in charge. This is a morale killer and displays very poor leadership qualities. People don’t follow poor leaders, they tolerate them. As leaders our goal should be to make our people better, not exist to be tolerated. You must take an active role in their work lives. You should always be available. We teach best by allowing others to try using their own skills. If there are two ways to do something and the immediate outcome is not critical, let your people choose their own path to the objective. The experience they gain in the effort and the trust and confidence they receive from you is the greatest reward.      

P5

Three; Loyalty is a two way street, but it starts with the leader. The leader must be the first to show unconditional loyalty to their people, standing up for them in every instance. Looking out for their needs; both personal and professional. In the old paradigm the leader demanded loyalty. In return goodies were doled out to the loyal. This style prostitutes the concept. The leader receives loyalty only on the basis of material things, better assignments, promotions, and the like. The depth of that loyalty is shallow indeed and non existent when the treasure runs out. On the other hand loyalty based on how the leader looks out for their subordinates is almost bottomless and is constantly refilled.

When our people believe we are there for them and the organization and not just for our own needs, they respond in kind. It creates credibility. 

Four; Succession planning. This should be paramount to any leader. Instead of concern with ones legacy as to ones own achievements, the good leader is concerned with preparing his people to assume his position, to take over. As a leader I feel no greater satisfaction than to have my people take what I have to teach and rise to their potential. My goal does not end there; my mission is to assist my people to eclipse my record. My legacy is not borne on my achievements but on the achievements of those I have taught. It is through their success that my journey as a leader is completed and my career justified. I want them to surpass me. 

These servant leadership principles require sacrifice on the leader’s part. They are not always easy to live. They are a process and a belief system that puts leadership on a new path. For many people these concepts will seem strange and unconventional. They are, but I believe our profession is at a point that we, as leaders, must assume a new role, accept new responsibilities, and understand the changes in culture and the people that are coming into our profession. We must lead with a dedication to our core principles, purposes and our people first.

Let me know what you think.

Spring Time Safety

“Behind the Badge”               Summer time troubles

By Joseph Pangaro

Once again the terrible cloak of winter has been lifted, for the most part. With the Spring comes the flowers, leaves on the trees, warm breezes, bar-b-ques and the driveway scammers, fake home repair scams, door to door sales scams and a host of others.

Yup, this time of year we can expect all of that. The flowers and leaves are not too much of a problem, it’s the scammers we have to watch out for, especially for our older population.

Over the years the scams change a little here and there in the way they are employed, but for the most part they are constant.

#1 The driveway sealer scam;  “Hi we are doing a job up the street and we have some left over driveway sealer.  We can give you a great deal”.  That’s usually how the pitch goes. Then the scammer will ask the potential victim if they can pay for the job or at least give them a good portion of the money and they will be back to do the job as soon as they finish with the other job. The price is usually set to be a great value so many people will take advantage of a bargain and give up the money. The scammers leave and do not return with driveway sealer or your money.

There are variations on this scam, sometimes they will offer to do the job right then and there. You pay them and they seal your driveway, only instead of a high quality driveway sealer, they use old motor oil, some kerosene or some other substance. Either way it’s a rip off.

#2  The door to door salesman routine is a distraction job. Someone may knock on your door and offer to sell you some product or other. Their job is distract you and get you away from the main part of the house so their partner can sneak in a steal whatever isn’t nailed down.

# 3 is the fake home repair scam. This is similar to the door to door salesman routine. At times after a summer storm when the trees are knocked down, you might get a visit form a nice fella in a truck. He will knock on your door or talk to you in the street about your broken tree branches or shrubbery and offer to clean then up. Some of these guys are really just hard working people looking to make an honest living, others not so much. The scammers will start the job and then tell you they see some shingles have come off your roof and need to be repaired, or they see a potential leak area that needs some attention. Many people will panic when they hear this and go along with the scammer. He will offer some price to go up on the roof and fix it. Many people are cheated this way every year. They might climb on the roof and nail up a shingle or two, or just bang some nails into your roof or tell you about a bigger problem requiring more money. These thieves tend to target our older neighbors because they don’t think they can get up on the roof to check.

In any event we must be vigilant to these types of rip offs. If someone knocks at your door and you decide to hear them out, ask for a name and phone number. Most people have cell phones, even the bad guys. If they give you a cell number, call it and see if their phone rings. Take down their license plate number. Even better yet ask them if they mind if you call your local police and see if they ever heard of them. Real people seeking to do honest work will have no problem with your requests. Scammers will usually make some excuse and leave.

If you have older friends, neighbors or relatives, tell them to call you before they agree to have anyone do work on or in their home. This can help protect them from being victimized.

Next up, are the car burglars. These are the people that walk our neighborhoods during the night time hours and steal whatever they can get from our vehicles. The best way to combat these guys is to always lock your car doors, every day. Take all your valuables out of the car or at least out of view and put them into the trunk. While locking your car is no guarantee that the really aggressive car burglar will not smash your car window, your chances of being a victim go down if the car is locked. Most car burglars walk up and down the street pulling on door handles. The ones that open, they enter. When they find a locked one, they keep going.

 And last but never least is the house burglar. Warmer weather leads to open windows. Burglars look for open windows. Many house burglaries take place during the day light hours when many people are out for the day. A common way they operate is to knock on your door. If no one answers they go around and enter through an open window. If there is no open window they may pop a window and get in.  A good strategy to help prevent this is to use window stops, little gadgets that allow your windows to open but only 6 or 7 inches. Enough for a cool breeze to get in but not a burglar. Leave a radio on in your house while you’re out. Burglars do not want to confront anyone at home. If they hear a radio, they may think someone is home and move on.

Another good thing to do is get a Crime Prevention Survey conducted at your home. These involve a crime prevention expert coming out and looking over your home and property. They make suggestions on ways to safe guard your home and prevent burglaries. Some insurance companies offer discounts on your homeowners policy if you get a crime prevention survey.

So there we have it our Spring time primmer on not being victimized.  It’s a beautiful time of year, enjoy it. A few simple safety thoughts can go a long way. If you want more information on Crime Prevention Surveys send me an email and I’ll point you in the right direction. 

Let me know what you think.

Self Defense in the modern world

Date Line- Sanford Florida.

The news has been covering the story of a young man shot and killed by a local resident of this Florida town. The shooter killed the young man under the cover of the florida law of self defense known as the "Stand your Ground" Law.

The concept is easy enough. When you are in your home, your "Castle" and someone breaks in you have every right to defend yourself and your family from harm. You have a right  to stand your ground and do what you need to do to protect yourself. This is an idea that is time honored, even here in NJ where our laws tend towards a more liberal bent.

Outside the home on the other hand the idea of standing your ground has been abandon. Right to carry (Concealed weapons) laws are very restrictive and almost impossible to obtain in NJ. The idea of fighting back against a robber or assailant is acceptable as long as that fighting back does not result in a serious injury or death of your attacker. This concept owes itself to many, ever changing and evolving social norms in our society. As we get farther and farther away from our founding ideas and we become a much more progressive society the rule of thumb is "Dont fight back".

In states like Florida and other southern states, the older traditions, beliefs and thinking about self defense allows the average citizen more leeway in thier personal defense and in some areas to the defense of their property.

Floridas decision to send a message to the crimnal element: If you attack someone they can and will strike back with force and possibly with deadly force. This is a belief that harkens back to another era, one of self reliance.   A belief that each person as a citizen is entitled and empowered to protect themselves.

In the Saford Florida case, what seemed on its inital report as a situation where a man was protecting himself and killed his assailant, has morphed inot something else. The facts as they are now being revealed paint a different picture than I think the law was intended to address. I dont know the actual "Facts on the ground" I only know the stories being reported. Based on the new information it is beginning to feel like this was not a justified use of dealdy force. In any event a young man is dead and his family is left to suffer that pain. Hopefully all the facts will come out and justice will be done, which ever way the facts dictate.  If the man appropriately used force to protect himself then the lesson of the Florida law and the message the larger Florida residents are sending will be loud and clear: Attack someone and you can die. If the man was wrong in his actions then that lesson must be heralded as well: use deadly force inappropriately and you will suffer the consequences.

Weilding force in the name of self protection is a complicated legal question. In reality it is much simpler. If someone is trying to hurt you, you have every right to stop them from doing so. The problem is how do you stop it. A robber in a parking lot with a knife is a formidable problem to a person with only a wallet or cell phone to use in thier defense.
The concern we all have in rectifiying that balance by allowing people to carry concealed guns for their protection are the people that will use guns and dealy force in situations where it is not warranted. Shooting a neighbor after an argument over a fence, or after too many beers and a simple shoving match turns deadly. To avoid this we prevent everyone from possessing guns and going with the odds that only a few innocent, unarmed victims might be killed by criminals, as opposed to scores of improper shootings over less than life threatening situations.  This is fine as long as you or someone you love is not one of the sacrificial lambs. 

The other problem that looms in the background, as it does in the Florida case, is the question of race in these sitautions. This is the topic that we can not seem to come to grips with. It is so potentially dangerous and frought with difficulties, that we ignore it and can not bring our selves to have an open and honest discussion about it.

Those who see racism in every situation will point to any incidents involving people of different races involved in any type of situation and attribute the actions to racism, regardless of the facts.  Many other people will ignore racism when it is real and present in a situation so they can bolster their beliefs and make the facts fit. Either way we do not move ahead asa society, we become stuck in the mire. The only winnners here are the criminals. 

All of us want to be safe. All of us want to live a life of peaceful existence, to pursue our hopes and dreams with out being molested by crime. How we get there is a problem for all good and decent people. Unfortunately as we debate the most appropriate response to crime adn how to be just  and fair and not react more than is right, we put ourselves at the mercy of the criminals who give no thought to righteousness, justice, decency or respect for others.

More to come on this topic........ Let me know what you think.

     

   

Hyperdrive Narcotics Investigation Training March 2012

March 15, 2012

One of the courses I teach is a drug investigation program called "Hyperdrive". The course is named for the speed at which narcotics investigation cases sometimes take place. A standard definition also includes" A state of constant action or ultimate speed".

Drug investigations are one of the hardest types of cases to work, there are lots of moving parts and the ever present danger of dealing with people involved in this lifestyle.

The class we ran this week at the Monmouth County Police Academy started on Monday and ended today. The course is built on teh premise of a real investigation. The morings are classroom session where we discuss the various aspects of a drug investigation. The second session of the day consists of the officer students using whhat they learned in the morning in practical exercises in the afternoon.

We learn about using informants, innterview techniques and types of investigations. The we bring in a role player to be interviewed and "vetted" by the class for credibility.

As the week progresses we cover all the parts of a case, buying drugs, conducting surveillance, writing search warrants and on the last day we conduct actual role player based raids on a location.
 
The course takes an officer from start to finish in a drug case and prepares them to run their own investigations. It is a fun class and from teh reviews it seems to be valuable to the officers too.
The group the we graduated today hailed from all over Monmouth, Middlesx and Union counties. I love teaching it and I really enjoyed meeting the cops who took the course.

These men and women are the future of police work. If I can do anything to prepare them and make them better cops then I am justified in my career.

If you want to see some video and photos from the course you can go to my business facebook page at Pangaro Training and Management or on You Tube looking for Pangaro Training.

   

Signature Crimes

A signature on a document is intended to identify the person issuing the document, such as a letter, or loan agreement letter etc.
A signature Crime is one that specifically identifies the criminal. What is their preference? Is is burglary, fraud, some type of deviat sex assault or at the top of the list, the serial killer.

Most crimes are crimes of opportunity combined with a persons abilities. A guy that needs money and is not concerned about stealing may have no problem coming into your home to take your stuff. How he gets into your home is where the signature starts.

The investigative reality for us is that if we understand the concept of how people do anything, we can apply it to how a criminal does his/ her thing. People are creatures of habit. We do things repetatively. Look at yourself. do you have a morning "routine"? Bathroom, then coffee, jogging, etc. etc.

Some people are  not morning people, they don't function well at first light, they prefer to sleep in, hit the snooze button ten times then run around like nuts getting ready.

Regardless of your routine the fact is most of us have routines. Whether they are simple or complex they are our patterns, our signatures if you will. Criminals are the same way. Understanding this very simple concept will go a long way to helping you understand how to look for and find a criminals "Signature" 

Lets run some examples:

The run of the mill burglar is a male between the ages of 15 and 40. If it is his first time commiting this crime you might find physical evidence at the scene that  will tell you that, but you have to know what to look for. The average burglary is also a crime of opportunity taking place between 8AM and 5 PM.

Statistics are your first opportunity to begin the identification. Knowing the basic demographic of the common burlgar as described above lets you know that if  you see a male in the category described wandering around a residential area during the times described you may have a burglar on your hands.
Observation of his/ her actions will be helpful to your case , but lets say you didn't see them. You get the call to respond to the Wilson home at 6:45 PM. They got home from work and found their house ransacked, jewlery taken and TV's missing.

Lets say a patrol officer does the minimum and takes a basic report then calls for you, the investigator.
Upon your arrival you get an overview of what happened then begin your scene examination.

It would be very helpful for you to know the type of criminal you are looking for.

The new or inexpereinced burglar will most likley have tried several ways to get into the house. They may have tried opening several windows, not knowing they were locked. You will find latent fingerprints or smears at these locations. You might find a broken window in the basement or elsewhere that finally allowed them access to the house.

Inside you see the ransacking of every room etc. These signs are the work of someone who was trying out their new occupation.

In police work there are terms used to help identify specific actions. Two of the best terms are :

Organized and Disorganized.   Orignally coined by FBI profilers for their work with serial killers, the terms are equally appropriate in any type of repeat crime, because as humans we are repetative.

The organized personaility has thought things out. They planned, they have some experience.  For the most part they have learned from their experiences and applied that learing to the task at hand, whether that task is homicide or burglary.

The disorganized personality is one that shoots from the hip so to speak. They really dont have a plan, they have an idea.   EX: "I want to steal from that house".  So they go over to it and try to break in and steal. The often leave lots of physical evidence, like fingerprints, foot prints, blood samples, wallets and other things that reveal thier lack of experience and planning.

One of the first FBI Profilers said the best chance they have to stop a serial killer is if they find thier first victim(s) realtively soon, before they have a chance to learn from thier mistakes. Same thing with any type  of crime. 

Get the concept?
And you thought those detecgtives were really unbelievably good didnt you?  The reality is a good detective also learns from their mistakes and gets more organized in how they investigate crime and criminal action. They also spend time learing these and other concepts of human nature. That  is our business after all isnt it??  Dealing with people.

OK so back to our new burglar. He picked a house in the middle of the block where neighbors can hear and see him. It was a crime of opportunity so he didnt have gloves and left latent fingerprints all over. He tried three windows before finding one he could get into and he spent alot of time going through a 12 year old kids bedroom finding nothing but action figures and video's.  Very disorganized.

So if you see these kinds of disorganized things at your burglary scene or the scene of an abduction and rape, or robbery, or whatever else you investigating then you know you most likley have a new or inexpereinced criminal.  Do a very good job of gathering forensics, canvass the neighbors.

On the other hand.........   

Lets deal with the organized guy and his signature.

This burglar picks houses he has learned give him the best hiding spots. Lone houses or houses on corner lots where prying eyes dont have a good view of his work.
He might pick a basement window everytime, and he might put a rock in the gate to keep it open for his retreat or escape. He might cut phone lines to defeat alarms. He will leave only smears because he brings and wears gloves. He  goes directly to the master bedroom and uses pillow cases from the bed to hold the jewelry that is most often in or on the womans dresser or in her underwear drawer. 

He goes out the same way he came in. He has leanred from experience.

So how then do we identify a signature?  Most criminals will do things the same way everytime if that way worked for them before. They might choose houses only on teh west side of teh street, or with a specific alarm company, they might cut only specific wires to the home indicating they know which ones are phone lines.
Some serial  burglars eat at their scenes, everytime. Some use the bathroom. I had a guy one time that defecated in the driveway everytime. Seems funny but it was his pattern, his signture. Some guys  steal booze everytime. No matter what they do, they will d it almsot everytime whether its how they git in, what tool they use, what  they steal or how they get away or act at the scene that will be their signature.

A good and funny example is the Home Alone movies: The two idiot burglars stopped up the sink and flooded the houses. They called themselves "The Wet Bandits".  This was humoruos but pointed out the lesson very clearly, they did the same thing in every job. The only difference was they wanted to leave their mark on each scene. For us, the investigators, we have to find the signatures the criminals leave behind that they dont want or expect us to find.

More on this type of training is available  http://www.jpangaro.com/  or buy my book   "The Art of Investigation"

email me at  jpangaro@yahoo.com  
 

School Shooting-Ohio

  At this point in the investigation the reason for the school shooting in Ohio is unclear. Media reports are culled from witnesses, rumors and hunches. Witnesses are unrelaible in many cases. Conjecture from kids in the school may offer some insight and investigational direction, but the truth may take some time to emerge. Looking at the reports so far we can try to understand the possible motives.

One commenter said the shooter, a student himself, was a "loner" and was bullied. Was his response to the bullying this murderous rampage? Could be. We have seen that before. Some people are pushed very hard, especially some kids. The bullying that goes on can be cruel and non-stop. It attacks a persons sense of self worth.

When you combine the normal insecurities of childhood with the tension and pain of being picked on everyday you can get an explosive reaction. If that is the case here the school must review what it does to ensure that bullying is stopped when it happens.

The parents of the bully's are also responsible and must take action to stop their kids from attacking other kids. Its  not good enough to simply say "Dont pick on Johhny even if he is weird" this reenforces the bully's beleif that he or she is superior to Johnny. Once out of sight of mom and dad the bully kid will continue to act out. Instead the parents should be held accountable for their kids actions. If your child is a bully and you do not take corrective action you will face consequences.

We all know bully's. They exist everywhere, not just in the world of kids but adults have to deal with them too. How about the bully boss? The road rage bully or the drunk in the bar thats ready fight anyone he thinks he can take.  

Bullying is the result of a persons over reaching attempt to overcome their own weak opinon of themselves. By attacking somone else they displace that self doubt and feel better about themselves. This is Psych 101 stuff. The problem with bullying is that if it is not shut down with the greatest force posible, it just grows.

Today two young people lay dead in a morgue. A senseless loss of life, tragedy for a community and individual families and many unanswered questions remain.

The why of this incident will be revealed soon enough. Ths shooter did not take his own life so he can be interviewed and hopefully some insight can be gained to prevent future horrors.

Look inward. Are you a bully?  Is your kid a bully?
   
  

The Bully

“Behind the Badge”               “The Bully”

By Joseph Pangaro

Last week I read a story about a man who lies in Florida. His young daughter had some physical and mental problems, but she attended the local elementary school. Over a period of time some of the kids in her school found it amusing to pick on this little girl.  Then one day the kids on the bus were particularly cruel to this girl and her father got on the bus and yelled at these kids after the girl pointed them out. The man was arrested and charged with a host of violations.

I was struck by this story from two sides. As a police officer I understand that we can not allow adults to board a school bus and yell, scream and threaten any child. Based on that understanding it was clear that his arrest appears to be appropriate. He lost his cool and reacted very badly.

The other side of me, the father side, felt some type of empathy with this man. His daughter was being picked on, or “bullied” continuously and the school system did nothing about it. He was wrong to get on the bus and verbally attack the kids who attacked his daughter, no question about that, but I get the sense he was trying to protect his child.

This story highlights a larger problem, the problem of the bully.

Many school systems now actively train their teachers and teacher’s aides to identify any type of bullying and put a stop to it. I know in our area most of the school districts have some type of training on this topic. Unfortunately bullying still goes on.

It would be easy to simply write this off. We all knew a bully in school, the guy or girl that taunted the skinny kid, or the poor kid, or the kids who were different in what ever way, or the girl that didn’t have the nicest clothes. For many of us as long as the bully wasn’t targeting us, we let it go, grateful we were not on the receiving end of the bully’s rage. We lived through it. It’s a part of life, it’ll make you tougher, right. I know some people believe that. I don’t agree.

I remember watching a girl in the 6^th grade that was tormented by quite a few of the kids in the school. Her name was Kelly. At first it was just mean names they called her, then she was shunned, then it was a shove here and there. I didn’t see any difference between her and any of the other girls in the school. She seemed normal enough. When they started in on her she would try her best to defend herself from the horrible things they said to her, but the more she defended her self, the worse it got. She told the teachers about it, then it got vicious. The taunting was constant, the comments about her parents, her clothes, her hair. The poor thing spent at least a part of every day in tears, alone. To my eternal shame I saw this happen and did nothing for a long time. Over that year the way she was treated made me sick. Finally one day, I could not remain silent. I had to pull together every bit of courage my 11 year old soul could muster. As the group was ripping into her again I said meekly “Why don’t you leave her alone”.

My attempt at stopping the attack was met with taunts to me about how much l must love her, how I must be a freak lover.  This experience was painful and frightening and it didn’t help very much. The kids still picked on her and she ran away crying everyday. I wished I was stronger, but I was a kid. The bullies had strength in numbers and they were relentless. That year ended and we went off for summer vacation. In September Kelly didn’t come back to school and we never saw her again. I guess she moved away or went to a private school. I can’t imagine that the scars left by the bullies went away any time soon. I know her torment still haunts me to this day.

The reality of the bully and bullying is that it does leave scars that last a life time. As an adult I know there must have been more kids that were just as upset by the way Kelly was treated as I was. It is not part of our human nature to see an innocent person attacked and think it is OK. I hope Kelly managed to move on with her life and the bullying became just a painful memory that she was able to live with. I also try to forgive myself for not doing more to help her. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I was drawn to police work, to protect the innocent and weak. 

Many parents have no idea how their kids behave outside of their direct supervision. Bullying and being a bully is something that happens over time. Parents have to instill in their kids that being a bully is not the thing to do. As adults we have to change our view of bullying as “Part of life”.

Children are different, they are trying to find out who they are as people. Some kids do act strange and dress weird and have goofy habits, but making sport out of these innocent children is a tragedy and it is up to all the adults to identify this corrosive behavior and help put a stop to it.

Let me know what you think.